CSW's effects on a (n almost) graduate

My undergraduate career is quickly coming to a close in the next couple months, and I am personally viewing my graduation as a rain cloud over the date May 14 on my calendar. It’s not that I am not ready to graduate and finish my undergraduate studies; it’s simply that I am feeling the same senior anxiety that I am sure most experience before we go through a huge change. The last 16 years of my life have been lived in education. Because I have decided to not go immediately to graduate school, I will be stepping away from any formal education, and into a different reality.

I would probably feel a little more assured if I had a job lined up for after graduation, but that search is continuing until I find success. My main problem is that everything I am interested in being involved with is likely ran by a nonprofit or nongovernmental organization. If anyone DOESN’T have money expand their staff in today’s economy, you better believe that it’s nonprofits and NGOs.

What’s amazing to me right now is that the jobs I am researching and applying for are all rooted in my experience at CSW. Because I met so many powerful and amazing activists at the United Nations last month, I am inspired to follow their example in creating social change. I feel committed to advancing the status of women so much so that I want to spend the next year or two before graduate school working in the field of nonprofits and NGOs. At CSW, I met so many brave individuals committing their time and energy to humanist causes. They do what they do, not because there is a salary involved, but because they are conscious and impassioned individuals who wouldn’t know how to turn their heads away from the trials women face around the globe. I seek to follow their lead and join the movement towards gender equity.

Representations of women

At CSW, women represent not only themselves, but their countries and other women within them. As a woman who has read about women's and feminist movements in various contexts, it was extremely exciting and tangible to hear from and meet with the women who I had read and heard so much about for the past four years. It's so different to hear directly from women about the issues they and other women in their countries face rather than through the filtered lens of a scholarly journal article or book. I am so grateful that those exist, and going to CSW is only possible with a certain level of privilege due to the money it takes to get and stay there, but I cannot emphasize enough the importance of women speaking from their own contexts and experiences in a very direct, personal way.

This is what I have been relaying to my family members and friends who have been asking me about my experiences at CSW 55. This is one of the most important aspects of the fellowship; hearing from and connecting with women who are often represented as ahistorical, or outside of history, in popular narratives. I am reminded of the Fiji feminist I met who was finishing up her graduate degree in Women's and Gender Studies at Rutgers University during a session I attended called "Pacific Women Claiming Space in the International Arena." Sadly, I knew little about the specific challenges Pacific Island women face, as they had not been a major part of my Women's Studies courses and I had not had a reason to follow their activity due to my privilege as a U.S. citizen and white person. The woman spoke genuinely and passionately about women's activism in the midst of Fiji's volatile political climate and commented on the West's imagining of the Pacific Islands as solely the Philippines. She said that it was important to recognize the rich history of women's organizing and movements in Fiji and that the Pacific Islands face very specific issues that cannot be collapsed into the larger Asian grouping in which these countries reside within the United Nations continental areas.

I was honored to be in this woman's presence. Feminism and women's studies are all about building from your own personal experiences and this is exactly what this woman had been a part of and relayed to all of us in the room. Her remarks would not have been nearly as meaningful or real had they come from a scholar who had studied these movements, but had never been a part of them, or from a non-Fijian. They were significant because they came straight from a woman who was a native of Fiji, understood the history and politics of the country, and had worked on the ground in the feminist movement for four years.

It is crucial that we create more opportunities for women to hear from women who have worked or are working on the ground because they have a unique lens into the various factors that shape the success of women's movements. If women cannot hear from those who are natives of and working directly with the contextual issues within their country of origin, then they will not be able to link the human rights frameworks through which they operate to the practical programs and initiatives that are derived from community needs. This is why I believe it is crucial to consider convening these conferences in different places each year or every few years to ensure that women who do not have access to CSW can represent themselves and so that those few women who are there from Fiji or Mozambique are not expected to speak for their entire race or nationality.

Will sexual and reproductive rights always be contentious?

I don't know why I was so surprised at the controversial energy I encountered in many of the sessions I attended related to sexual and reproductive health and rights at CSW. I have known for a long time how contentious women's sexual and reproductive rights are and that these are often narrowed down to solely the issue of abortion, but it's different to be in the midst of people with extremely different views, listening to their perspectives and feeling the tension between and within all of them.

I noted this tension in a session during which the International Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF) spoke about the implementation of comprehensive sexuality education programs in conjunction with international NGOs in many Latin American countries. The purpose of this session was to discuss why considering gender and rights in the context of sexual and reproductive health information and services is crucial for fostering gender equality. I wasn't expecting the flood of questions that poured out from angry audience members. A woman from Mexico City asked why IPPF was implementing comprehensive sexuality education programs in Mexico when we didn't even have these in the majority of the U.S. Another woman challenged the panel to speak to PlannedParenthood's historical involvement in the eugenics movement and why the majority of PlannedParenthood centers are concentrated in minority communities (*I would like to note that IPPF and PlannedParenthood are two different entities with separate funding streams and purposes.) The hot, crowded room of over 100 people sat in awkward silence as the panel fielded these questions that brought up the larger issues of privilege and oppression, which fueled the disagreements that were happening during the session.

As many of you have probably heard or seen, women's sexual and reproductive is currently facing a serious attack in the U.S. with many bills being proposed that would cut public funding for the crucial sexual and reproductive health services that organizations like PlannedParenthood provide to women of various races, classes, and nationalities. One in three women in the U.S. has had an abortion and over half of all pregnancies in the U.S. are unintended. With rates of domestic violence as high as one in four women, I believe that there is certainly a link between gender-based violence and the high rate of unintended pregnancies, as well as evidence that our sexuality education policies and programs are not providing adolescents with the comprehensive information that they need to make informed decisions about their sexual and reproductive health.

In my opinion, the socially constructed category of gender and the gender inequalities that women face are at the root of all of these issues. The dissent between pro-life and pro-choice groups, abstinence-only and comprehensive sexuality education advocates isn’t about the services being provided or performed. It’s about the fear that women will break out of their expected “roles” and be in power, autonomous to make their own decisions independently and freely. Until the socially constructed category of gender and gender inequality is truly addressed through educational initiatives and policy changes, sexual and reproductive rights will remain an extremely polarizing and controversial topic. This right, along with women’s rights to fair employment, pay, and safety, cannot truly be addressed without addressing women’s historical and current subordinate status and the intersecting racial, class, and national identities that also shape women’s inferior status.

A letter to future WomenNC fellowship recepients

Dear future fellowship recipients,

I’m sitting on the plane on the way back from NYC. The airline attendant is passing around pretzels, asking what I want to drink (they still do this for free, on Delta). "Coffee, please." I feel like I'm in an alternate reality from the space in which I lived the past 6 days. Words are spilling out of me; I can’t type quickly enough and my mind won’t stop. Maybe I should have ordered wine. It is underprocessed and overwhelmed that I write to you, now. I’m sure you’ll have a similar experience when it’s your turn and you’re on the way home, gazing out the window, watching U.S. city lights dance from high above. You’ll be realizing how small you are, but also how much you can and will do. It’s incredible, truly. Spending a week with some of the most inspirational women on the planet is indescribable. Sure you’ll teach, but you’ll learn so much more. You'll love it, I promise. I’m taking a break from some of my personal processing/free-writing to write you this letter. Don’t worry, I’m not going to get all emotional or in-depth about the complete awesomeness of this week, well, not yet anyway—that’s for a personal conversation or another post. Instead, I’m going to share with you some advice.

The following is a list of two things 1) What I wish I knew one week ago and 2) What I knew and was very glad I knew. This post is going to be a list of very concrete (I usually don't do concrete) logistical (or logistical blog posts) suggestions to you, as future UN presenters, fellowship recipients, and world changers. All of this is Annie’s life advice, so take it for what you will. Most of this is conference advice, some of this is UN advice, and little of it is UNCSW specific. Again, take what you want and leave the rest, disagree or agree. I will neither mind nor know. These are merely my “best practices,” my experiences, and I’m sharing them with you. I’m sure we’ll go deeper as we get to know one another, but for now, while lessons are fresh on my mind, here's my “to do list” for young women:

· Before you go to a session, if you have a list of dignitaries, CEOs, etc. attending, do a quick Google search, and look at pictures. This is for 2 reasons: If someone introduces himself or herself to you and you have a deer-in-the-really-important-headlights look; it’s not good. It’s embarrassing and you’ve also put yourself in a harder place to make a connection. Do your homework. Secondly, if you see a President or CEO on the street or in a hallway with whom you would like to speak, you will know who that person is and thus will have an advantage over the clueless passersby. This is not to say to run up to “famous” people just because you feel like it; that’s sort of pointless and this is not Hollywood. ..but, if there is a question you have or a connection you want to make, do it. Just go for it.

· When you do greet a President , MP,Director, CEO, etc., have a little speech prepared: I’m ____, from _____. I care about ____. What do you think about _____? Thank you for _____. I wonder why____. Can we follow up with _____ ? ....you get the idea. You know yourself, so there’s no excuse to be star-struck or unintelligible. People are people.

· With that said, network with everyone, not just the all-stars. The old woman grassroots organizer in Ethiopia might be a better contact, and might teach you a lot more than someone with a fancy entourage. She’ll also have more time.

· Bring more business cards than you think you’ll need, and be *somewhat* judicious in passing them out, more so if you have only a limited supply.

· Set goals for yourself before you leave…then make them happen.

· Don’t try to go into the UN building with coffee, water or other liquids; it’s like the airport and they will confiscate stuff from you. Also, at certain times, the security line is really long. You’ll have a security pass, so you won’t wait with tourists, but it’s still going to take time, so plan for that. That being said, if you can find someone “important” and hook up with them, you can usually bypass lines and security all together.

· The food places in the UN do not take credit cards, cash only; bring cash.

· Big title does not equal good speaker, or sometimes even knowledgeable person. If you’re at a session, not learning, and don’t have a desire to connect with anyone in the room and something else is going on, leave. Go to something else. Time is priceless (always, not just here).

· Be aware of anti-choice groups masquerading as pro-choice. There are plenty of really right wing, fundamentalist, religious, crazy conservatives. This happens…I think Kimmie will blog more in depth about this, so I will direct you to her post. I just caution you that on NGO day, that some groups try to do this; they are good and sneaky, so watch out.

· There are seriously 500 things going on all the time. The UN is crazy busy. So 1) Take care of you. If you’re tired or feeling sick, go take care of you. Rest. Eat. You will not be effective, make a good presentation, or even make good impressions if you’re feeling lousy. With that said, after you are OK to work, realize that 2) this is an experience of a lifetime. Do NOT waste any time. Go to as many sessions as you can, talk to as many people as you can, learn as much as you can. Don’t chill out in the hotel room, take long lunch breaks, wander around Times Square for hours, or do homework all the time (I promise, it can wait; school is a major part of life, yet “life” will and should supersede formalized worksheets from econ class or English papers. Trust me.). Work hard, have fun.

· Challenge/push yourself. This week can make you better if you want it to.

· Bring a big bag, not a small purse. You will end up with more material than you think; it will be heavier than you think, and harder to carry than you think.

· Hook up your fellowship sisters who are with you…if you get an awesome opportunity to bring others, do it! Talk to those with you on the trip; share your experiences. Also, coordinate your sessions with each other in order to maximize the learning/connections. Unless you all really want to go to a particular meeting, there is no reason for four of you to be in the same session. Go to different ones and trade info.

· The second floor of the United Nations Church Center has a ton of resources, extra handbooks, etc. On Thursday or Friday, there will be an international market; go check it out.

· The postcard stamps you purchase in the UN building can only be used in the UN building.

· Age is just a number. Many people will think it’s awesome that such young people are there at the UN, and some will pass over you because of your age. Don’t let age stop you from doing your thing. You’re smart, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. Be confident.

· Don’t underestimate lunch, and things like lunch (refer to my previous posting to fully understand this comment, I’m not going to type it all out here again).

· Take notes. Lots of notes. Bring paper. And a pen. And another pen for when that one dies.

· Arrive early to sessions if possible. 10 minutes or so should be fine. Seats are valuable; even our presentation was standing room only…and then it was hard for people to find spaces to stand. Some sessions are more crowded than others, so if there is one you really want to go to, RSVP early and go early. Also, sometimes you can talk your way in places/getting passes/etc. Just work it.

· If you’re in a session and you have a legit question, ASK IT! I cannot emphasize this enough. Do not be afraid, ASK. This gives you a chance to 1) get your question answered, 2) bring up an issue you care about, and 3) introduce yourself/your passion/your organization to everyone in the room.

· With that said, know when to listen and when to talk.

· When you receive a business card, within the next hour, write on the back of the card how/where you met this person, the general interest, if you’re meant to send/expect an email, etc. You don’t want to get back to NC and three weeks later, have a stack of 100s of cards, and not know any of them.

· Beth will love you if you bring up CEDAW.

· Have a schedule and a rough plan, but be flexible. Plans will change, often serendipitously.

· If you’re not sure if you’re meant to be in a room, briefing, etc. and no one says otherwise, stay and act like you are supposed to be there and you know what’s going on if you indeed want to stay.

· Follow-up the connections you want to keep and build upon with an email, text, etc. This is as much about networking as it is about learning hard facts in sessions. Connections are so vitally importante.

· Don’t try to speak at the Asian Caucus if you’re not Asian.

· Finally, go exploring around the UN building, just saying….

I’m sure I have many more suggestions which I have left out, but I’m also sure I will have conversations with each of you, dear future recipients. Much love, I know you will rock it out next year.

All my best, to each and every one of you,

Annie C.

I have the pleasure of turning 22 at CSW 55. I've only spent my birthday away from friends and family once before. I spent my 20th birthday in Tangier, Morocco, while studying in the country. Having a birthday at CSW turned out to feel a lot like it did when my birth was marked in north Africa two years ago. In Morocco, I was in a Muslim-majority country. This morning at CSW, I attended a panel discussion on the violence against and marginalization of Muslim women. While this panel featured women experts from Iraq, their arguments and discussion greatly reflected the sentiments expressed by my Muslim friends and colleagues in Morocco, regarding gender in a Muslim society.

The idea of religion and women seems to have the potential to create many setbacks regarding women's status. Using religion to justify patriarchal ideas, and embedding those ideals through religious upbringings, isn't something that resonates solely in Islam. Men dominating leadership roles is celebrated in Christianity as well. Why do we do ths? Men may be viewed to have more wisdom than women and therefore more able to lead religious communities. I disagree with this notion, which is often a subconscious characteristic of religion.

A woman from Uganda in today's panel's audience brought up the idea of female imams, or religious leaders in Muslim mosques. The idea is progressive in Muslim societies, as it is is in most Christian sects as well. The energy from her comments filled the room as she boomed,
"The men are against women imams because they say her body in front of them will distract them from prayer.
"Her bottom, her curves, it will tempt them.
"Can not a woman be thinking the same about the male imams when he is leading prayer in front of women?"
The audience applauded.
Her question dove to the core of a common double standard women are often subject to. The idea that we must mask our bodies so as not to attract 'unwanted' attention, or to make sure we are viewed as 'respectable' women in society.

I left the panel thinking about how societal judgment of women in public is not equal. Regardless of religion, we as women are held to practice norms in public and the workplace if we wish to be respected, and I think it's safe to say that men are not expected to fulfill similar norms. It is important to reflect on these differences. While living in Morocco two years ago, I reflected daily on women's appearance in public. I had to cover my body up more while living there, so as not to attract unwanted attention on the streets. Today, on my birthday, I may be able to cover my skin up less in the streets of New York (if it weren't 38 degrees out...), but a wardrobe viewed as 'scandalous' would still warrant at least one cat call per block. Maybe I can make a birthday wish that erases these gender inequalities. I suppose of that were possible, women would have wished away our worries ages ago, and conferences like CSW would not be needed.

Reflections for the Day

Today has been a long and tumultuous day. I have finally seen the fruit of WomenNC's labor really come to fruition. These young students are amazing. What really gets me is how fascinated they are. How dedicated they are. How interested they are. How willing they are. How passionate they are. They are all around wonderful. I'm just awestruck at how well they are received and how they are conducting themselves. They are truly professional.

The presentation yesterday was extremely well attended. This picture above proves it. The capacity of this particular room was about 70 people. There were no chairs left at the peak of the presentation. This was a view at the start before the presentations started. Many more sauntered in. Truly a great turn out. Prof. Hershfield orchestrated the position of emcee extremely well. She did a wonderful job and we are so thankful to have her as a Student Fellowship Chair.

Each student did their presentation beautifully. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to tape the whole presentation, but a video clip of the presentations will hopefully be made in the near future with the parts I did get to tape. But, this wasn't what I was worried about at all. I knew they would all do a great job. I had no doubt in my mind. To me, Questions and Answer sessions and making sure to network with these people at the end of the session was what seemed to be the part we had missed explaining. But, again, I was astounded. It was handled with such poise and finesse. We even had June Zeitlin step in and answer a few questions on CEDAW. She is the director of the CEDAW Education Project. We took a picture with her as well as seen above. Below, you can see how involved the students were with people after the presentation as well!

These presentations were so well received that in one day, people are recognizing us as the North Carolina group once again. Women and men have approached these girls asking about their studies and how they got involved and they are quick to mention WomenNC and how it has helped them. I'm so proud of them.

Directly after this amazing session, we held another for Prof. Hershfield's screening of Men are Human, Women are Buffalo. It was EXTREMELY well attended as well. The film was amazing. There were no technical difficulties. Much of the credit goes to Prof. Hershfield and Kristen Brugh on that front for being so quick about getting everything set up. I could not imagine a better session than that. The film and the discussion that followed was truly inspirational.

As I have worked with these students and gotten to know them better over the past few days, I feel we have become a small knit family. I feel like a sister to them in many ways. They are all talented, professional, hard working, passionate, inspirational, cultured and real women. I'm very humbled to meet each and be a part of this program with them. Annie, Kimmie, Katie, and Kristen have been a joy to be with on this trip and I cannot wait to watch them bring the global perspective they have gained here back to their local audience.

Robert was not Invited

Yesterday was the official United Nations (UN) Commission on the Status of Women (CWS) Non-Government Organization (NGO) consultation day. This experience included a plethora of the most book-smart, degree-acquired, experientially-qualified women from all over the world speaking about issues that they hold dear. We heard from NASA experts, former country presidents, UN officials, and grassroots organization leaders. The morning was not only informational, but it was also inspiring. I am extremely grateful I was able to hear these women speak.

However, not meaning to disrespect the insight, knowledge, and prestige associated with cavorting smartly across the professional stage…the best part of my day was lunch time. Okay, laugh, “lunch” is such an elementary answer. But to me, it was so much more than that; lunch was Three Cups of Tea. It was like a Catholic SEARCH condensed into one meal. However, the awesomeness of my experience resided not with the food—even though I do give CSW thanks for the veggie options—it was the people with whom I enjoyed this time.

Just before the (delayed) lunch, the emcee told everyone in attendance that because there were so many people—roughly 400-600 at any given time—that we would have to take lunch in 30 minute shifts in order to comply with fire codes. I thanked the English alphabet cosmos which rescued my stomach, as last names starting with A-G ate first. I scurried down the snow-covered steps of the Salvation Army building, out into the bone-chilling wind, and next door to the “cafeteria.” I surveyed the stereotypically prepared conference box lunches and quickly grabbed my choice. Boxes our hands, I stood with many of the women whom I already knew and walked into the makeshift dining room filled with alphabetically blessed people. Even though there were seats for us all to sit together, I insisted that we split up and each sit at different tables, for networking, better conversation, learning etc.

I found my place among three women, after asking their permission to sit via the rule: “is this seat taken?” It wasn’t. I sat. Shortly after, two more women engaged in the same convention. Thus, our group, our random, spontaneous group was formed. Young and old and in-between, different races and religions, histories and people, we promptly begin properly introducing ourselves. After five minutes of polite typical conversation, we began to stop formalities. For what ever reason, we decided to talk “for real.” I’m not sure how that happens; it is rare that one finds oneself in a situation where personal barriers are broken and one becomes raw and vulnerable. While some argue this type of discussion is easier with strangers, it is nonetheless exceedingly rare.

These women and I talked about ourselves, our lives, our passions, and our impressions of the conference. We discussed heartbreaks, successes, relationships, motivations, frustrations, families, and dreams. Nancy, Anneke, Lucia, Nina, Amy and I bonded in a vein similar with conscious raising groups in early feminism. When we told stories, we literally and metaphorically leaned in to each other; we scooted our chairs closer and understood. We opened ourselves to each other. We discovered we were published authors, film makers, educators, parents, children, spouses, environmental researchers, editors, world travelers, and so much more.

I remember when Amy shook her head in disbelief, squirming excitedly in her chair, as Nancy grinned, pecking away notes on her iPad. Anneke, who embodies the vision of a 1970s poet—and she is—removed her earthen scarf, put her hand in her hands, and stared into the eyes of Nina, another author. Nina was gesticulating wildly, talking excitedly, and uncensored. Lucia scribbled notes, nodding emphatically. I leaned back in amazement, knowing that these were relationships coming into being.

We exchanged our research, book recommendations, our stories, news stories, best practices, statistics, and little pieces of ourselves. Over the next HOUR AND A HALF our relationship and our bond intensified.

We connected.

I don’t exactly believe in fate, but I do believe in the connectedness of people and the powerful communication patterns that occur when women talk, really talk. When real talking occurs, it leads to sitting in a circle for an hour longer than one is meant to do, and missing markedly important sessions at the UN. In that moment, a circle of women engaged in conversation is more important. I offer my story as a testament to that fact. We don’t always agree on everything nor should we, but we can talk. Sometimes knowledge is different from information; I’ve learned that. Over box lunches—the kind where there is too much bread, and not enough inside, and the cookie is too hard (get it?)—we wrote history. We learned.

“Are you just talking, or are you really saying anything?”
--Djuna Barnes

We typically engage in small talk…small talk is anything from the weather to stories that we think prove ourselves vulnerable to others but really never can. We do what is convention and what is safe.

Small talk isn’t bad; it has its time and place and I certainly won’t disparage its validity. We need that too because really talking can be emotionally exhausting and I think, is occasionally inappropriate.

But to change the world, to change people, to have meaningful relationships, really talking is necessary. It’s interesting to me that much policy making is formalized small talk. It’s passionate occasionally, sure, but people have their sides and real engagement rarely occurs. Policy making is usually rigid, a facade-laden means to an end. It’s statistically based and formalized. Robert’s Rules of Order Apply. But what if Robert isn’t there? What if we don't even invite him? What does it look like when women engage in discussion, listen to one another and make policy decisions?

At CSW, must ask ourselves these questions. The UN is about that connectedness; CSW is all about how women can come together to create real change. We don’t always need big titles to give big speeches (although that helps with learning and with funding), but we do need them in the room, sitting and eating lunch with everyone else. We need each other and each others' experiences.

We need to cut through conventionalized formalities, national/emotional boundaries, mental barriers, and sometimes personal comfort. To get anywhere, we need to talk. Everyone must come to the table.